All has been going pretty decient... I guess I cant complain...or can I? HA
Well Dad was stuck in Indiana Friday so he was going to come back Saturday morning then his flight was not till 11 than that flight was delayed...so than he did not come back at all and just stayed there. He would have not gotten home till Sat evening and than had to fly back out Sunday afternoon..It made no sense really... SO I have had Madie this weekend. What day is it again? Than he was supposed to give me money so he had to wire it to my account and that wont be available till who knows when...2-3 days? And does Sunday count as a day? Freakin Sundays.
He sent me a picture of what looked like a tornado forming over his work site...OMG.. I was like get the f- out of there..hes all like "Nah...we are good" He is a good runner..... sigh.
During the week however I was kinda shocked (well maybe not) to see horseface having a great time at the beach with the family...while he was out of town?? I was like huh?? And then I accused him of being home and he got mad...I am pretty sure he is in Indiana and why would he come home and not see Madie...It wouldn't happen! So.... yeah..But why is she hanging out with everyone while he is out of state? Jesus...she is in pretty deep now! Everyone seems to love her and her children I guess... Who can compete with that? (shrug) Not I... :(
Whatever he decides to do with her is out of my hands... Its so incredibly hard to have trust issues! I hate it.... We get along pretty well and have not had any terrible fights.. But I just hope he understands that its hard for me to believe him sometimes and I am not trying to be a Jerk but I need a lot of proof of things sometimes...or some good reassurance...ya know? I told him I was just kinda confused to why she was there without him... I still care about him and love him but he can be a pain in my ass...lol Im trying to be ok.. Dammit.
I guess I am just the black sheep now...too hard headed and potty mouthed...lol Like "!"oh shes gone now...LOOK we have Horseface and her AWESOME kids that can do activities and run and play and tell jokes"!......she is so dang polite too...always thanking everyone and saying how much fun she had and tagging everyone and than everyone loves and likes her pictures.... sigh.
Who needs Jamies bag of Drama dropped off at this party anyways! I beat anyones ass for one more family BBQ... or to simply be invited to anything to feel part of something again...
I have been thru a lot and I still see a lot of things as unfair but for Christ sake don't just abandon me! I get upset wishing that Madie and I were there and that Madie was able to run around and play and do activities.... I feel replaced...with something so much better...? um...NO. Madie and I are the Best team out there! And we are still breathing and still standing! We still exist!! No matter what happens.... I know I know....LAME-O.. After all these years... Divorce or no Divorce I am still Madies mom and I am still human and my heart aches too... Dammit. I still have a few ounces of fun left in me! And maybe too much love... And I'm a really good cook...lol
Its a rainy day in the c-ville and its kinda boring over here...may go out and get some Milk and get some fresh rainy air..lol Madie has been such a good girl for me but a very demanding girl for sure...gets mad when I don't carry her or pick her up or when I brush her hair or change her clothes... We are bored. lol (Madie just totally farted REALLY loud...omg)
I bought one of those Wet Brushes and its amazing btw. 10 bucks but worth it!
Summer school continues tomorrow and I am going to go hang out at the food bank and help the ladies I have not seen since I did my community service. Other than that ...try and get some rest and repair...I am sorry to make this blog into Jamies Bitch and Moan fest... going to try to take a more positive spin...Hope I was not getting all nuts-oh...
Already looking forward to Friday...and its Sunday. Dad sure owes this mom! LOL Maybe we will all go for Pizza or something kinda our usual Friday thing.. I enjoy it kinda gives us a chance to chat and catch up on our weeks and plans etc..
Off to the grocers now...sorry kiddo getting impatient with me..
Peace out homeslices!! You know who you are! XO