Saturday, December 30, 2017

Holly Jolly Christmas. Over at last.

Im no famous author by no means.... I wish I could write a book of my life...filled with humor and sadness and good times and bad..
Its tempting. with my laptops spacebar needing an agressive TAP to work it may take awhile..

Its another offensively cold day in my neck of the woods... just started to pour down more icey goodness..I always say that I am having my LAST winter in this duplex and each year I end up sticking around...I have made this place and this town home...I want to stay within its limits but its looking more and more like that may be a tad tricky. Madie is pushing 50 pounds and my back and sciatic nerve pain is pushing zero. I dont know how much longer I can manage lifting her on my own. I am bummed they dont have rental studs who can come and help shirtless with all manual labor...LOL  A gal can dream..😜
No really..how much longer? Just getting her in and out of car is oooooFFF  tricky.  If I won a million dollars I would get a new SUV for sure. And a one story house in the country with a awesome garden of veggies and flowers. Oh and kitties...lol Outside ones that could just hang out on the porch and still be safe... Madie would have an awesome school with programs for her and therapies galore and of course lots of her favorite fun things...water play and lots of music. XO And ya know, maybe even have a loving partner... I miss being married alot.. the safeness of it. knowing that you had someone to share your days with.

Okay well when I come back to reality I willl let you know.
SIgh...
In Madie bugger news she has been good... There has been a tough time finding her a new Para at school which is tough when its coming to communications... Its like "Oh but I told so and so" and did they tell so and so? lol  They are all trying to scramble together and always help madie and there is never a doubt that they care its just a little disorganized sometimes..I try to keep her  notebook up to date but sometimes we are scrambling in the morning to get moving.. Story of my mornings.
She is good. Still with Dad on weekends... He tends to go missing on weekends but I try to pry anything out of him on occasion to see how kiddo is doing... Its frustrating but when has he ever been a big talker..
Been trying to sell my engagement ring... I get very gung hoe on just SELLING then when it comes down to it I cry and get too sentimental would love to get 1000 bucks for it... I have been offered anywhere from 250-400... Now I just beg for 500! Its insane. I think I am stuck like glue to this ring that I had hoped one day to wear again... I had it cleaned but to buff the scratches would cost at least 100 bucks! I have had it one Fb market, LetGo, and to a few jewelers and pawn shops accross towns.. Maybe it would help me emotionally to just part with it.. Like a chapter I can close the book on?? The money would certainly help me just pay some bills early and get a break from them next month to CHILL...  Oh I dunno..
Its been a thing on my mind for awhile. my bills are ok but they can be better...
Well I hope we all survived the holidays! As usual I was not invited to any CT family christmas but I did get an invite from some great friends in town...
THIS year Dad said he was driving to New Jersey ON Christmas which I automatically assumed was a lie to get madie home early and go to some party with some chick or get out of having her for his families party...Why would he do that I ask mysef... That cant be true..
I had for once been invited to a friends (nice couple I know in town was doing dinner) I wanted night to have an adult party so badly I ached. I could not understand why he had to so desperate to drive to Jersey of all places ON christmas..what Job does that? I will most likely never know the full deal on that... I ended up bringing Madie with me to my gathering and of course she and I were more than welcome! It was so so nice of them to invite me and be cool with madie coming along... It was not ideal but it was MY christmas and it was the closest thing  to CT family I could get. I felt blessed. I was happy that night with a small bunch of us.. It was a Christmas where I was welcome and it was all I could ask for. He never even apoligized for the whole thing...
That is all I have to say about Christmas. Onward to Easter.

I found a home for the bird about a week ago as well! A School for troubled kids, foster kids, DCF kids... They have a farm there that the kids help on..Its a really great cause and I nice campus... Birdie will be hanging with 3 other birds in her cage now... Maybe she will stop being so hormonal and making out with her food dish...EW! I felt a little freaked out about leaving her but at same time the last thing I need is a bird! I hope they give her Broccoli treats and cheerios she liked those things. I dumped my vaccume canister and boy there were alot of seed in there... Adios Millie Bird.
My Favorite picture of the little Jerk.

I dont think there is anything else I can ramble about today..
My cat has been driving me nuts lately...only eating the gravy part of his food, peeing on the floor, and going crazy when his food is all dried out..I seriously cant afford to feed this cat anymore... I have tried alot of brands of food and still just eats the gravy. As far as the peeing goes I really have no idea! he made a bathroom out of the canopy for Madies wheelchair I had to throw it away..and underneath the wood floor was ruined.. I cleaned it up and put a puppy pad down... Till he finds a new place... I just dont get it. How stressful IS his life? Never had a cat do things like he does...

On that note I a tired of typing and my fussy spacebar .  Hope everyone is well and hanging in there and has a Happy New year... I will have the usual time alone with Madie. My holiday tradition continues!
Peace Out.


Thursday, October 26, 2017

Just another post.

Still breathing.

Sigh.
All is going I suppose. Kiddo is doing well and getting thru her days at school and seizures have been seizures..She had one last night which has left her out of sorts today so she stayed home from school.
Dad is traveling a lot and I guess that's ok I really don't question it and he doesn't really talk about it. I guess we are almost in a better spot but who knows.. :(
I took in a bird. yes a bird. A cockatiel that hates anyone coming near it and will bite HARD. I was with my friend and we had to pick up her daughter at her friends house..sure okay fine So we get this gals house and while we are waiting for her daughter to get her things so we can go I am overcome with the smells in this place... whew... and then there in  the room full of god knows what was a bird in a cage filled to the brim with bird crap and smelled to high heaven. The gal sees me looking at the bird and says I can take the bird if I want it... OH Gosh.. In my guts I am like Oh hell no... I am set with animals and I already have a cat that drive me to nuts. I told her maybe...ugh
SO a week later I am riddled with guilt and agree to take the freakin bird.  I obtain a free parakeet cage from other friends sister in law and its clean and ready so I go pick that up. I know its too small but like hell am I going to take that big cage covered in crap in my car and take it home and hose it off...I figure when I win the lottery Ill get a new cage but its fine in the smaller one and its clean!
SO anyhooo...yeah I have a bird. I am slowly looking for another home for it I think maybe madies bus driver may take it... I have no idea how I can get the stupid thing to like me  right now.. lol Its cute and all but I am not really a bird person... like at all.
Her feathers are all pulled out in certain places and if I had a million bucks I would for sure take the thing to the vet but hoping the wounds heal up and got a vitamin for free from the fancy pet store in town after I told them the story..lol sigh.

In other news.... 2 field trips coming up for madies class...one to the movies and one to the state capital which is a all day-er.. Not much of a fan of those they are EXHAUSTING but Ill swing it! All in the name of participation! lol Trying hard to overcome my anxiety in that kid of stuff and GO.. be out there and be a part of madies class and activities... It will be draining but maybe it will be fun too...buy us some Hartford CT t-shirts? HAHA
Also an Orthopedic appointment soon  too... I really am not a fan of her leg braces and they are just not fitting well...gotta really jam her legs into them...poor kid... I have been leaving them at school... meh. I hope we can at least get them adjusted soon...
Turkey Day is also looming...Dad says he may be out of  town and I dunno...looking like I am  taking madie with me... I don't  get invites to CT family stuff anymore so Off to Jersey I go. It will be good as always.... LOTS of food! I am bringing container for leftovers...lol Dunno what my contribution will be yet but I enjoy making stuff so Ill certainly bring something with me... I sure miss my giant platters of pigs and blankets I used to bring! lol YUM.
Lets see what else? Oh I dunno...
Hoping to get our pumpkins soon! and get some pictures of bugger by the patch...it just rained really hard past two days so its probably MUD central so I am going to wait a bit till we get some sun and go! Its just one thing I have always missed doing as a family and well if its going to be just madie and I doing it than so be it... I will not stop going with her. Stay tuned for pictures! :)!!

OH shoot...okay I gotta cut short I am waiting for the Medicaid nurse to come and assure me that madie is still disabled and can still partake in Medicaid...lol and the cat just stunk up his box so I gotta get on that before I let anyone in this joint!
be well everyone....

Peace Out
Me.


Monday, September 11, 2017

End 0f story








We found our place very shortly before school was about to start...
I am going to try to type this as the site runs like molasses and buffer while I type a sentence....

We found a pond...it had a small beach.... school was starting soon and it would be one of the last days before....  I knew that I couldn't go there myself cause they charge 9 bucks on the weekends... and at this point that's not budget friendly.
Madie and I spent almost 4 hours that day... I was so relaxed having my feet in the sand. We had the whole place to ourselves for at least an hour...and even then not that many people showed up. The kids were all pretty good and swam and played in sand...we had plenty of breathing room. 
I DID  go there on Madies second day of school...in my poor attempt to have my happy place to myself...2 moms with 5 kids subsided in the only shady spot....each child used a scream to say what they had to say... I ended up getting sunburn on the other side of the pond just to peacefully read a few chapters of my book... 
SO Id rather go wrapped in a blanket on my beach chair ALONE than deal with those kids again.
Or go for 9 bucks...


Me


Friday, July 28, 2017

Summer Rambles...



It was so crazy cause like a couple days later it was chilly high 50's low 60's... This kid loves the water! It took a few hours for the sun to warm it up but all in all successful! Gave her a bath in it after..lol 

Sitting here after a 2 week long haul without Dad and my back is NOT happy... I look forward tonight to grabbing some good food and a couple cold ones and decompressing! Sleeping in! Waiting for Dad to get here tonight is making this the longest day ever. lol
Anyhoo.....
No hot dates...Just ME time and Quiet...plant some of my plants in new pots and weed my small garden... sit outside... hit the farmers market...watch some Netflix...lol OH its HEAVEN! Although a hot date would be cool...lol I have come to accept that It will be Me, Myself and I forever. Had a married with two kids ex boyfriend message me on fb once telling me he had a dream about me and that he and his wife are not happy.. Kinda the extent of the fellas these days...AWESOME..ugh. I don't go on those date websites.... I DID at the beginning but a lot of the guys are looking to cheat on their girlfriends or wives... Its true. So.... EH. Cancelled all that crap. I hate being divorced...I miss Family-Ness... I miss Beach getaways...family dinners.. Togetherness before everything  got all screwed up and no one does anything anymore...
I am taking some  time off the week of my Birthday next month and I have no set plans... I was thinking of booking a camp site if I have any money... Just a couple days.. Or I dunno...a road trip? Maybe go see my family in Jersey? I have no clue.... As of now nothing. But its the first time I will have more than a day and a half off from Motherhood.... It may just be epic no matter what I do!

ANYHOOO.... Kiddo is well.. Sleeping well, eating well, pooping well...lol I bought her 5 new sippy cups (same ones she had and likes) cause when I finally found them at Walmart I went nuts! her old ones were getting moldy and I after so many scrubs and dishwasher trips they were just not cleaning well anymore... Only problem she still really likes those old ones...Give her a new one SAME sippy and she is all....NOPE wont drink this...  
Working on it! THIS KID.
Seizures are Seizures I guess..she still has morning clusters but wakes up happy and hungry so..... But  it gets  me up at the wee hours when her leg hits the wall or she snorts or gasps before each one...Shes okay but it can go on for 30-40 minutes.... and I am a terrible sleeper as it is... 
Summer School is going really well...I think there is only like 2 weeks left an then we get about 2 weeks off till the new year starts! I was thinking of hitting LLBean and getting her a new back pack...no matter how much I wash this current one which is probably since Kindergarten it still smells of Bottle/Sippy/Ketocal/ Boost explosions...lol I dunno....after my bills I will probably have a 100 bucks..But soon!

Don't really have much  more to ramble about I guess.... Just antsy... Gonna muster up some lunch and get kiddo  her sippy. Hope everyone is well and enjoying the summer....It will be winter before we know it. Don't forget to watch Game of thrones...WTF Greyjoy!! Adios to that guy last week!

XO Peace Out.
Me