Monday, November 28, 2016

Maisy Cat

When I first brought this cat home I had no idea what to name her..she had no name for like a week.. She hid under my bed in the dust I put a small mat under there and she would sleep on that...and emerge  to get food and use her litter...
3 years later...Its all the time we had together. I lost her over the weekend. My heart is so broken.
I came home from Turkey Day in Jersey and it was a great time seeing all the cousins and exhausting bringing Madie with me but I made it thru...
I come home and the cat just runs outside like I had trapped her in a small box all day Thursday.. Well she comes in and out the rest of the day and last time she went out she did not come was about bedtime and I worried but not too  bad she always ends up on my Porch waiting to be let in at the wee  hours of the night.. So I went to bed a little annoyed at her but knew she would be back..
The next morning rolls around and she is not on my porch...and her usual sleeping spot looks as if it has not been slept in... I call her and call her but nothing.. Its Saturday and Madie is at Dads so I get in my car and drive around the area a bit to see... Nothing. I kinda begin to fear the worse.. Remembering when I lost my Magic Kitty years back...
The day kinda wears on and I am just hanging out at home...I go to the grocery store and grab a can of wet cat food. I don't feed her the wet stuff but I figure it would lure her in. I keep calling her thru the day and shaking the treats she bugs me for all the time..
about 3 pm er so my Neighbor messages me and says Go see Jim...(her husband) Then I hear a  knock on my side door and its Jim and another guy it took me a second to recognize but he was the other neighbors Boyfriend... he said he thinks he found Maisy Cat and that she is passed away... I walk out down the driveway and they lead me to the front of the duplex next door...
There lying in the bushes is my Maisy. I began to just shake and I cried and cried.. I put my hand on her and she was so cold. Jim went and got a shovel to scoop her up with and dug a hole near the woods.
My heart is so broken. I have no idea what happened to her it was the SAME as when my other ct harm to her body she was just gone. We all think maybe poison. Who would do such a thing to a cat? MY cat....  Oh how I have cried. This place I live has taken 2 cats in the four years I have lived here.
Plans are to plant a sort of flowering something on top of where Maisy lies.....

I guess that's all for today.  Off to my appointment now and my eyes are so dry from crying I don't know if I have anymore left. Just one day at a time and I cant say it enough right now to keep your cats INSIDE.


Sunday, November 20, 2016

The Village.

Stressed about Money. ugh. Even when I make electronic payments they fault on me. Unsure of my Turkey plans if I cant get money to get gas after all my bills bounce I will most likely stay home. A friend of mine invited me over but eh.... rather just be with Madie... Holidays used to be such a great time...and well they still are in many ways but different.. I am thru hoping for invites when I am clearly not invited... SO new traditions have to be made.. And it involves a lot of driving to New Jersey but its okay... lol
I cant wait already for the holidays to be over. and its only just begun! BAH. SO DEPRESSING
Spent money I did not have on getting myself dinner last night and I just did not care... Its hard to explain that its my Decompression time... I NEED it... I risk bouncing all my bills just to have that time... and a lousy dinner and beer...

Anyhoo....had a field trip with madies class the week before last...We went to this "working farm and village" in Mass...called Sturbridge Village... It was about an hour and half bus ride.. I was anxious as all hell cause I just hate these things but am trying to conquer my fears and be a part of something for once...
So we hitch up madie in the bus and off we all went...the kids were very good on the bus...We get there and we are whisked away to the "presentation" Two gals on this little  stage showing us all how they preserved food in  the old days...brines and sand and more salt and dirt cellars.... the kids churned butter and the gals talked and demonstrated...Madie got a little grumpy but we survived I was anxious to get out and check this place out!
We get outside and some kids and the teacher are having their snacks... so we join them for a bit and along with Madies new para we head off..
I wondered if anyone was working that was kind of a ghost town... They had some sheep and chickens and some giant Oxen we saw and one of the chickens was kinda roaming around as he  It was such a seasonal place... I think if we maybe waited till spring to go I bet it would have been bustling with colonial people and we could have seen a lot more than little houses that were basically small museums... with just displays behind glass... 
It was a nice day so we just kind of walked around occasionally meeting up with school folks who I had to keep asking  her para if they were from our group or not I don't know anyone...
She is a little flakey at times but very nice... I still miss her old para SO MUCH... I was able to chat with her little better...
When the trip was all said and done we all migrated to the parking lot that the buses had dropped us off in...Or at least we one else.....
I asked her para basically wtf was going on and if she knew where we were all supposed to  meet..She kinda had no clue
I asked her to call teacher on her cell and she got no answer.. She asked me if my phone texts...
UM.... you have an IPhone... But I said yes and she gave me  the number and I texted her... We were a little freaked out but cmon they are not going to leave without the only a\handicapped kid on the trip! We eventually got to the bus maybe a mile er so away but I was so embarrassed...NO one told us the bus was switching lots to pick us up....
I was glad to be headed home and madie was a super trooper and enjoyed walking around... Will I ever go back? Nope. lol
There is another one at some point to the Bronx Zoo! Oh my lord...if that wont be crazy...
Heres a few pics from the Village of

 Madies new hat. xoxo

Saturday, November 5, 2016

Appointments and a good madie update!

I hate appointments they make me anxious and after them I am usually so tired from just trying to stay calm the whole time talking to doctors and trying to keep  my thoughts strait....
We had two this week.
Yesterday we spent nearly 3 hours in Hartford Hospital cause Madies leg braces are not fitting her correctly anymore we have to get them adjusted..SO I made an appointment with the Orthopedic doc...thinking that this is the doc who does the braces...well I get there late cause I was stuck in traffic directly in front the the same court house I was divorced in... And I check in and wait.. whew. Well they call us in and lead us to room...Um..its like a storage closet.. I comment "oh I guess we are meeting in the storage closet" The gal looks at me and says that they don't have us in for having an appointment... I tell her well we made one with ortho because madies braces don't fit right...
"Ohhh that's next door in 1A... "
Okay so instead of leading me to a storage closet....
I leave there and go next door...(its in the hospital so we are basically going a few feet over)
I tell the gal at the desk I am so sorry that I went to the wrong place and was confused when I  made the appointment.. "oh you need to go to x-ray" she says after she signs us in and we DO have a appointment there.. so we are sent thru a few doors and off to radiology we go.
Xray went fine Madie doesn't like when folks mess with her and hold her in ways she doesn't wish but we got some xrays of her pelvis. lol they looked funny.
We leave there and head back to Ortho and they escort us to another exam room to wait for that doctor. 30 minutes later a fast talking woman comes in and says all is growing well and madies bones look fine nothing is growing crooked or into each other... all looks normal. She takes a bunch of measermenst and number and moves Madies legs in way
s she doesn't wish... At this point we have been there for about 2 hours and getting weary.
So we finish up with that doctor and back to the waiting room we go. We are now able to see the brace guy..we wait about 40 minutes...Madie begins to cry and get fussy..another kid in the room keeps saying "Its ok baby" "Its ok baby"and offering madie a soggy goldfish..till mom finally calls it.
Finally in  the homestretch and we meet with braces guy we strap them on madie against her wishes but she does well... yeah they are too tight and leave red marks on sides of her little knees.. So in order to fix them they have to unscrew some parts and adjust..which can take awhile so after we have them all marked up we leave them there for about a week the doctor says... they will give us a call when they are ready. And that was that. 3 hours had past and we were finally free! lol
The easy part was getting the car from valet parking!
Madie bugger fell asleep in the car.

Earlier in the week we also had  Neuro appointment this one was much closer in Farmington and in a nice office building with only 2  Madies seizures have been kinda yuck... I wont lie.. I really don't know what starts to bring on increases when she was doing so well for so many months.. I managed to video some of them on my phone to show doctor which was GREAT..gotta love technology!  We talked a bit and I told him the days she had her big seizures and that most mornings she wakes up having what I call snort seizures..she snorts and her limbs flail out and this happens over and over a few seconds apart from each other... THOSE are the nagging ones that wont quit and can happen daily...usually upon wakening 530 ish in the morning,... :(
SO he suggested that we increase her med...Shocker of the century... But I am going to go with it... It not a huge increase and she has been on this med for long time. He also suggested that we look into Banzel...another seizure drug...or Onfi... which I have heard is very strong... SO ehh..... but he gave me some info on them...I gave the stuff to Miles to read,.... I don't think  he was to sold on it either..
I feel like we have been there done that with  the mixing of drugs and It breaks my heart when you read things about kids being on like 4 seizure drugs and still seizing like 100 times a day its horrible! What doctor says that is ok?! the kids are zombies and the parents are at the doctors mercy to help their kids...makes me sad... hard to control seizures are heartbreaking. I used to say when we would add any drug that if the kiddo was still seizing and still at the same rate it was not working and I would push to try an different one...never add a new one...Its crazy.. Its our lives....

Anyhoo.....SO appointments went well and this mom kept her anxiety at bay which was very triumphant for me...
I have one more on Monday for me to my doctor who will tell me once again that I am still fat and that I still need my blood work done... hopefully I can get out of there fast....
Then on Thursday I volunteered to go to Sturbridge Village with Madies class... its an all day trip and probably too much walking around...It gives everyone a good pice of mind when I go along I think everyone kinda freaks out having Madie out in the real world outside the safe  I got a note thanking me for volunteering and that I would be in charge of a group of 4 kids....UH....... I as assuming I was going to be with just madie and her para...not be in charge of other kids! wtf.... SO cue anxiety about THAT... sigh.  I am ready to get some good exercise that day though..maybe shed 1/2 a pound..hahaha
I think kiddo will do just fine she loves to be wheeled around and see the sites.

Okay well I think I got all my stories out today its a chilly day in the ville and even my kitty wants to be inside! lol Nothing much going on today just enjoying the quiet really...being a hermit. And its ok.
Hoping kiddo is having  good weekend and missing her... but this mom is thinking of a little thai food tonight and a movie. no hot dates for this gal.
OH and I have to say that Halloween weekend was really fun. It was crazy how many people they could fit into my tiny downtown and all the great costumes I saw! The hangover not so
I have also put my  tattoo on hold....200 bucks is a lot of money... I got bills to pay right now but its still on the table..the guy drew a pretty cool one up for me...even has a small frog in it! Awe man...200 bucks...dangit.
Well I am loosing focus... here are a couple pics It was a fun day and almost 80 that day!!
She is such a happy kid with such unconditional love in her lil heart.

 fat cat in the!! she loves the breeze!

Sunday, October 16, 2016

Just a Quickie

In just a few days I will have a big girl 10 year old! Crazy. I have a cake mix that contains "fun fetti" and some chocolate frosting...maybe if anyone wants to come over I will make some dinner... Or eat  the cake all by myself...
I wanted to cry after Dad dropped off Madie and left me some cash.. I was drowning in my bills and close to loosing my car insurance...Did you know they can jack up your rate when you don't sign up for E-Pay? Really asssholes!? Gotta straiten that out tomorrow....
Anyhoo...I feel a sense of relief...I will go get some groceries tomorrow and send out some bills...Maybe even get the Tattoo guy his deposit! And take Madie to the Pumpkin pAtch! Woo Hoo! Muddy and Fun :)
Tonight just going to relax.... Whew. Back to school for bugger tomorrow and on  Tuesday gotta bring her to dentist to get her chompers cleaned! that's not always that fun. lol Then on Wednesday have to go to teacher meeting at new school to get PPT done... dunno why one is so early in the year but It will be nice to touch base to see how she is doing so far... I get nervous!
Hopefully later this week I will have some new pictures of my bugger to share and some more uplifting
Dad will be in Omaha this week and thru next week so I may not know what day of the week it is so bear with me!

Ill blog soon! Hoping for an early bedtime tonight. This lady was up too late last night! Lil bugger is getting antsy! lol

OH I am also very antsy for the next debate! Oh man this election has been such a trainwreck! But I love the debates they are so exciting! Get yo ass out and VOTE dilly dally!
Hopefully Trump won't be grabbing any women by their....

This Kitty was the latest to get off the streets and into a warm home before Winter :) Thanks crazy cat lady! (and I say that lightly!)

She named her Blossom which I think is pretty lame... I just called her Bea. Like the golden