Saturday, April 8, 2017

Same Ol Same Ol

Have I ever mentioned that I hate seizures...like more than hate...like a blood boiling hate. I just hate them! They have not been good to my sweet girl lately... :( She is by no means having seizures all day long I mean it could be worse! But for her one big seizure a week is a lot. And don't forget the fall downs and the clusters of arms and legs flailing out over an over...:( I am really uncertain what the next step will be....
I called Neuro and he is out of town till Monday but in meantime I have to take her to get some blood work done to check her Depakoe levels. for now...than the Doc will review. I don't know if this is a time to change meds? Increase Depakote AGAIN? I think there is only so much of the med you can put a small kid on.... 4 125mg capsules 2x a day.... Well.... smh..
SO many of the meds in the past made her so tired.. she was a zombie and that is not ok.
So I will take her Monday to the lab nearby to get the blood work done and we can go from there.

New Cat is working out well...lol He is named Jake and he will be an inside only kitty. I cant  bear to find another dead cat in the bushes..  he had been such a lovebug. Never hisses or scratches me.. NEVER. My old cat Maisy was never afraid to break some skin. lol This fella is just a little mush. I very much enjoy having a pet around...my little family. my Babies. lol

So anyhoo... Maybe I will go out tonight and grab some dinner or maybe just some take out and a  movie.. Dunno yet. Today I wanted to go to this big Multi-Consultant LuLaroe thing...lol Maybe find me some treasures I cant afford... I kind want to see a lot of the stuff in person...get a feel for how the sizes run...for future online purchaces really..But I am kinda stoked and its only a few miles away. Yessss!
Other than that oh heck.. Supposed to start getting really warm outside and I cant wait! Oh how I crave the fresh air! I miss my maxi skirts and sandals... Madie will be on spring break this week so hoping to get some cute pictures of her too... :) By Thursday Ill be ready to get back to routine..lol
Dad will be traveling to Indiana all week so it kind sucks that he cant take her a extra day or two but glad he will be home on weekends.. I don't mind flying I mean I am not scared of it but my ears get so painfully clogged. That's the worse part. I have no idea how he does it. Big Kudos.

Well I have a load of laundry and a silly kitty whos bowl is empty... Hope everyone is well and hopefully its  warm weather in your necks of the woods...CT is still waiting for spring to start. Winter is being such an Asshole.

Me

Monday, March 27, 2017

Still Breathing!

Hello folks.

Is it spring yet?
Well its been a whirl wind weekend..Saturday I drove to the ghetto to adopt a Cat. Well wanted to at least go look... when I got there I had to fill out an application and wait a few minutes...Soon a volunteer led me in the cat room..it was busy with people looking to adopt... and the smell of the litter boxes..eeek. Anyhoo... looked at a bunch..some were not interested in disrupting their slumbers... lol some just swatted at me and one scratched and hissed at me. Than I went over and saw this little black and white fella...they called him Elmer...lol yes like the Glue. I asked if we could take him out and go in  the playroom "sure" said the volunteer..lol SO he kind leaves me in the playroom along with two other cats that were lounging around in there..One was named Trumen...If Trumen isn't the biggest cat I have ever seen! LOL He wasn't too interested in me but let me pet him than tried to bite me. lol the other one was a skinny long haired white cat that a woman with fried bleach blond hair was smitten with and she was going to take it.
So anyhoo.. I kinda awkwardly tried to entertain Elmer and he was just kinda doing  his own thing and was calm..even took a litter box break then Truman was interested in that...
Well he was a nice cat... I was never really into the black and white cats always wanted a more unusual cat... My cats have always had the biggest attitudes... Not Elmer he was so quiet and never hissed or tried to bite or scratch... I like him.
I kinda paniced when I realized I don't have any supplies for him at home and asked if I could come back Monday or Tuesday! Well that wasn't going to work cause they aren't open on Monday! Okay so I ended up just pitching out the money...running to petmart, grabbing a new litter box and some litter and running back....they let me use one of their kitty boxes and off we went! What happened!!? LOL
He meowed the whole way home and hid under madies bed the rest of the day...when he did come out he let me pet him and was pretty pleased with his new digs. Now Monday he is such a little mush and even snoozed in my bed last night while I was watching Tv...
This morning I had to go the bank and grab some breakfast and when I came home my stereo was on  the floor...Uh....and little dude was no where to be found...
I ended up fining him in  the bathroom after searching all over the place... he is still hiding a lot but also loves to be pet and sit with me.. He also has kind of a drool problem...Yeah that's another issue.
I named him Benny. Yup Hes a keeper.


Other than that ...well also went to see a Jimi Hendrix band on Saturday night with my girlfriend...OMG it was AWeome!!  We stayed until she got mad at some randon chick and insisted we LEAVE. But it was a crazy night. lol What an awesome band! Sunday was spent sleeping that off. lol

Anyhoo...Well I guess all is going...Kiddo is at school and I was just blogging while the guy fixed my furnace.. lol I woke up and it was 55 degrees in this joint! Second time the ol bessy kicked off... but the ol reset button was a no go. The guy replaced some stuff on it and was done in like 30 min. Ahhh heat. and whew.
I cannot wait to be able to open the windows! I want fresh air! Winter is such an asshole.

OH and update on Miss Madie she is well. She has two field trips coming up soon and I will have to sell my soul to pay for them...They really don't mess around... Whatever happened to like trips to small petting zoo? Nope we go to Bronx Zoo!  A ride on a kiddie train  thru a makeshift jungle? lol I'm pretty anxious about that one... I just know its a LONG day... and well I have to go with madie or I am not sending  her... But I really want to see this place! What  trip! 
She has been doing well at school and getting thru her days.. Seizures have been a little yucky so just kinda holding strong...I really don't know what other path to take with seizures...Shes 10 now and growing slowly. Still has her G tube and has had no problems with it. Gets thru her days at school.. Guess its all I can ask for.
I always let dad know when she has a tough day.. Hes not being very social with me these days .

Well I guess that's all I have to ramble about today.
Hope everyone is well.. Till next time


Sunday, February 12, 2017

Snowmageddon

Snow and Snow and Oh...More Snow. Make sure you stock up on Milk, Toilet Paper and lady products! lol
Getting hit like a ton o bricks in CT this week... another foot expected today. I am guessing that shcool will be cancelled.
Little bug has been super sick... It did not help that I myself have been coughing all winter... Poor baby girl I felt SO bad handing her off to dad and wanted to just stay with her... The 2 separate households got really old about a year in....and there is zero I can do about it..but off she went. I havet heard any horror stories..
Wanted to go to breakfast this am and when I got to my favorite joint it was PACKED....even in a snow storm! I was frustrated after I had attempted pancakes on a crappy frying pan...and just wanted my breakfast. After a month of coughing and blowing my nose my sense of taste is shot anyways...maybe those mashed up pancakes would have been delicious! SO anyhoo...breakfast fail aside...
Just laying low today..watching the snow..making spagetti sauce(uncertain if it tastes good..)for later on...and some to freeze....waiting for bugger to get home later...Really not much going on.

Had some weird dreams past couple nights...usually involve me hanging out with the family and them coming up to me and telling me I need to pack my things and leave that I am not welcome...and as I am packing I have an obsurd amount of clothes to pack and than suddenly I am in my childhood bedroom packing clothes...and then i am in an airport trying to catch my flight out...THEN there is a BOAT and we are forced to swim to it with our luggage like we are escaping a foreign country..
I miss Family every day I miss the beach every day... That dream was so weird. But the being lost in hallways of a school is a reoccurring dream I have..Really weird.

Anyhoo...I knew there was something else my brain wanted to fart out...
watched this movie called The Lobster... Dont even ask me to undertstand this one! People were being brought to this weird hotel where they had 48 days to find their true mate..or be turned into and animal. yes and animal.  If they do find their mates they are sent off to a couple more phases of the process than released back into society..but must present certficates of proof that they do infact have a spouse...SO Colin Ferels character wanted to be a Lobster if all else failed... He ended up running with Rachel Wises character and they were in the woods  with a group of others..but would go into city for various things... one girl in the group blinded Rachel Wises character and yes...blinded.... and she still ran off with Colin Ferrel... than in the end they were both at a diner an colin ferel goes into the bathroom with a knife to bind himself! wtf... but you never know what happenes to them both when the dang movie ends. Most bazzar thing ever. 120 minutes I will never get back! lol
SO yeah.... enjoy that one.

A picture from my upstairs window after the first storm...

Hope everyone is well...
Me.

Friday, February 3, 2017

Dinner Dates?....HA

RELAX...no spicy story about how I have met a great man on any dinner date... Did meet a nice guy once on one of those craptastic webstes  awhile back and we almost went to dinner... But oh...I may not have Friday available and oh... I may not have that weekend available..oh and sorry last minute I have to take Madie.... "Due to your exs inconsistencies I don't think we should meet up" he said.
I cried a little...well not cause I was even remotely attached to someone I had never even met but because I think  to myself WHEN will I ever meet anyone? Let alone be able to have one lousy dinner out with someone other than myself...And I understand why he bailed back then.. when you meet someone you want to be able to spend time with each other and get to know each other..
Yeah Madies dad and I have had our moments....He was the love of my life and loosing him and our family breaking apart was the worse thing I have ever been thru... How am I supposed to get out and meet people or even have a life?  I know he works so hard and at times he thinks I don't appreciate him for it...I get mad...I get resentful... why does he have to travel so much? I always give him benefit of the doubt and because I love Madie and love him I do it...I take the kid and loose my weekends in the process...
I almost made an appointment with my lawyer at one point to fight for more child support cause I was ANGRY and I wanted a life...I was angry that shit HAS to be this way.
If I meet someone who tells me I am pretty even though I am feeling like a train wreck and haven't waxed my eyebrows in weeks... its nice.  I have just kinda shut down from websites and even cancelled most (well ok only had 2...lol) most of the dudes are insanely stupid and I tend to have to repeat a lot.. my strange humor sometimes offends or confuses people...lol So I just ditch them and leave them wondering where I went...blocking all their messages...I'm a Jerk to these guys and I really care less. Yeah YEah GET over it Jamie..I really want to punch people who tell me that..no one knows the rollercoaster I have ridden ..loving and hating and affairs and hating and  loving...welcome to the past three years! watching family move on like you never existed... trying my best to keep madie and I afloat...I don't think I have done a terrible job at that! Still breathing! lol bills are paid...

Aside from my non existent love life I have been OK really!! lol just needed a small rant. Madie is doing well she will start her after school activity next month! :) last night we are hanging out on my bed and she was using me as a footrest.. I was kissing her little feet and she was laughing and pushing her feet on my head.. I love getting cozy with kiddo and having that time with her...
And yes motherhood aside I need a life outside it... I'm freakin lonely. I want to laugh and feel pretty again and be wined and dined...maybe even get some flowers..they can be blue carnations for all I care I would love them! :) Isnt that weird how they make flowers blue? lol
The overrated Valentines day is soon...I wish someone would get me a new kitten...lol for real. and some blue flowers. :) I miss having a little cat around bugging me and also keeping my feet warm at night.. I hope soon to get a new cat..been looking around online at the local shelters and well....adoption fees can run upwards to a buck twenty soooo slow and steady on that but Its sure something I will save for!
Sorry about my rant folks... laptop battery is running low and I reckon I need a shower about now....please no comments telling me to just get over it and buck up... each day is different but today I just needed to rant.
Maybe next year I will get those blue flowers and kitten for valentines day!

Me
Will blog this weekend I cant WAIT to have tonight and Saturday as ME time! :)!!