I am thinking today how much us "seizure moms" have in common. Our kids are just not able to nip the seizures in the butt. One goes. a new type arises. They disapear for a short time...oh no they are back with avengence. THIS has been our world!!
I am broken hearted. Its the most helpless feeling in the world to watch your child have a seizure and you can do nothing to stop them. AND the Doctors who know so much can't eaither!! SO who do you go to for help? We turn to various drugs and diets and surgeries and support groups or other moms etc etc..You look for support. Nice genuine people..people who dont judge you or your child to tell you that it will be Ok. "DOnt worry, Madie will get there" "Dont worry she will stand someday" "someday the seizures will be gone" "hang in there" "Your doing great mama" And I dont know about you but I will take any sort of encouragement and good thoughts and hugs and love I can get!!It warms my heart the unconditional love for my Madie. Just warms me.
Deep in my heart I have to believe that Madie will make some Milestones someday...that she will eat her real foods someday..that she wont be in preschool till she is 12! If I don't...well screw that.
Its a darn good thing shes so cute!
She is getting so big. SO TALL! Almost time for a big girl bed if she keeps getting herself stuck in the corners of her crib! lol.Then its off to shop for rails to keep her IN the bed without sliding under or going over! HA
BUt that is a little ways away.
In other news..
Almost 3 Weeks without a glass of wine or a sip of beer. 3 #^*ing Weeks! I am almost afraid to just have "one" fearing it will lead me back into the bad cycle of things. Staying strong and resisting temptation even on bad days. Anxiety has felt better for sure...even ventured out to a couple of stores by myself with minimal panic. Felt Good. Each Day is hard. But ya know about 6 years ago I quit smoking and never looked back....ya never know.
I wont go into the whole History of me and my drinking I really dont feel like I can tell that story quite yet. And what made me decide to "take a break" well..that is left unsaid. Sorry Folks. I really never considered it a problem till reciently....when things get stressfull I like to unwind. I dunno...just seemed like a little too much and decided to just chill.
Dont worry Im not in trouble with the law! (lol)
Still not able to say Im quitting all together so Ill say a break for now. Sounds good to me. Maybe a guilty glass on Valentines Day..(nah!)
Madie has been OK. still the same little booger...not too too many jerks and twitches but I stay patient with those..and that one big one per week persists...Keto is going well..I think in some odd way it helps. I can only be certain when we get her on it longer..
She had her first full week of preschool this week in about a month and has been pretty sleepy when she gets home..gotta get her back into her routine..sick beyond sick of these below zero temps and snow!
We are off any Pediasure now and all is going..its been bout 2 weeks. The worse part is the constipation! 4 days and lots and lots of Miralax later...nothing. then I bought "little tummies" that looks like brown tar...well low and behold today she poops!! Size of a tennis ball I tell ya! whew! no struggle...the s*it just came. I sigh relief...Sadly she will need daily stool softener with this whole dang thing..
When she is blocked up she will not eat alot which is not going to work when she needs x-ammounts of ketocal...*sigh...sooooo We will add stool softener to her regiment.
Valentines Day is soon..no plans..kinda get consumed in other crap to even think about "Adult Plans" probably exchange cards. We are all getting over colds as well soooo we shall see..I never know what hubster will do. :) I am usually smitten with flowers and a dinner out somewhere. :)
maybe we can get a sitter and go to dinner...madie is always a pain in resturants...although once she quieted down when I gave her the strawberry Sauce from our mexican churros..lol
Have a great weekend folks.