comments and updates..yup, all in one!

Ok I want say that this is my blog...a story about my child!! My child has catastropic Epilepsy...she is struggling thru SEIZURES>..MEDICATIONS>>...learning simple tasks... It pisses the hell out of me when IDIOTS who have nothing better to do but to comment on my blog with symbols and Chinese letters and dots... WTF?? then I gottta go thru fussy blogger and trash your comments and write huffy blogs like this one!! Unless you are really from some Asian country or completely illiterate and just cant find your words... and are dealing the everyday life of having child with special needs like Madie which I highly doubt....
You get my drift.
So now I am approving all comments for blog..pain in the ass I know..but needs to be done.sick of it.
NOT BEEN A GOOD WEEK!! Seizures and Seizures...sleepy madie...BAD COLD MADIE...the cough that I heard coming from her room at 3am last night made me cringe! I am at wits end with ALL these medications..I hate them all!! She is so sleepy...Doctor told us to go back up on the Banzel..NOT what I wanted..so maybe we could go up on the Valproric Acid I said..since these seizures really dont look like drops.. Ok so he agreed just like that. Kinda shows ya that they really dont know what to do..."ok sure try that" UUuuuuugh!
Ever have one of those days when you just want to break down into a blubbering cry...like cant catch your breathe cry...half box of tissues cry. Cry because its just not fair that such a perfect beautiful child..a product of YOU has to have so many problems in life..I mean JUST eat a cracker! DO IT...just work those muscles and STAND...just want to see it. Just SHOW us you dont need all these medications and stop having seizures!! Tired of living in this world...jokes up..time for the real life..ok God, I get it..you have challenged me and I am chosen for this child. I am the strong one you have given madie too..beautyfull Madison Greer vanNoordennen.

SO now we have gone up a half Ml of the Valproric Acid and kept evrything else the same..alot of great good that has done.
Back to preschool in less than a week and we need to get a grip on this sleepiness and cold and get her back to herself.
Seizures persist so far we have seen 3..the day is young. She is passed out on her blankee on the floor..It hurts to look at her.the ache in my heart. when she wakes I want to take her on a walk on the cool nature trail up the street..maybe take some pictures of the pretty things around us. I really want to get something to listen to music on while I walk I hope to ease anxiety and calm my pace down...

Well I guess thats it for now..lots of hugs to all the kiddies and mamas and dads too :)