Saturday, January 30, 2010

A look back...

Snow Snow and More Snow......

Now if you really know me you know that I have been thru alot in my life and well...still hung on thru it all...weathor it be going into horrible depression, party annimal days or just rebeling against the world as a teenager the death if my parents......If you told me back in the days Id be where I am now Id say NO WAY>...married? Child? House? heck no! I was ready to go find the next party! I lost my parents when I was in highschool...Dad at 16 and Mom at father was an avid smoker and had bad chollesteroll and never watched his diet..(thank you for the high chollesterol dad!) Heart Attack at 42 years old. gone. He was the smartest guy I knew...everything I ever asked him he just knew! Even if he BSed his way thru answers I sure believed him!
MOm? well Mom had issues...loved prescription pills and booze. One night at 3am she was gone..she was what I call A Functional Addict..never once did we not feel loved or taken care of..Dinner was always made..she was on it.
If they never passed alot would have never happened... It was just meant to happen in my life.
When I got Married it was the best day EVER..oh man. If I could go back and do it a hundred times! Not having my father there to walk me down the aisle was also one of the hardest wonderful father in law took the honors and walked me..
Time heals these wounds and when you cant have the things you so want in life..dunno what to tell ya.. shit happens.
Then we became pregnant(fast!) with a BABY! OMG the fears I had! Took me a couple months to be excited...I was so scared..and honestly I enjoyed how life was going. I was working I was able to go out where I wanted Hubby and I frequently went out on dates and to happy hours and lived in this sweet loft apt..the newlyweds...ahh :)
Well as baby got closer we find out its a GIRL! A GIRL! My own little mini-me! We can go shopping and do girlie things and craft projects and make cookies on rainy days...walk thru parks and eat goldfish crackers feeding them to ducks...Oh the plans I had! I was going to show her EVERYTHING!
I did so well being preggo...ate well..drank barely a drop of wine...rested when I needed to heavy lifting...I still did however work untill my doctor told me to stop or I would have the baby 10 weeks early....doh.
I was determined to go till Oct just weeks before my due date. Nope.
As we moms know having that baby in your arms for the first time (minus the goopy part) is the best ever. Ok so next to my wedding day having madie was the second best!

No one ever ever ever expects to have a child with special needs...EVER...I mean we are all good people..we are loving we are happy..we have no criminal pasts..(I dont thing We are strong loving couples..right? We have warm loving homes..we even may have some cool pets in there acting as furry brothers or
Well when god had this special kid that he needs a great family for he picks us...yup US...dont go trying to return or exchange...
We think OH I haven't been thru enough in my life I get a child who has ISSUES! THANKS GOD!!
But gosh...she is so sweet. I remember telling my hubby "gee we make pretty babies" He would joke and say "good thing she isnt ugly cause Id send her back"
Its taken Madie forever to do the things she does lil over 3 years old! LOTS has been endured. Lots of tears, lots of worry...but also lots of laughter. lots of hugs and kisses..which are new..we call them "loveys"
She is very much little miss "I get what I want" right now. crrrrriiiiiies and crrrrriiiies when we dont come get her in her bed when she is ready to come out or when we dont pick her up to carry her places or get her out of her stroller which needs to keep moving OR ELSE..
We took her to a casual dinner at Chillis the other night..we had a gift card and since she was in a great mood we decided heck we we'll bring her little booster seat thing and we can relax and all sit at the little booth.
Drinks come to the table...I take a sip of my ice water and the meltdown begins...reasons unknown this kid is screaming. In CALM voices we agree to put her back in her stroller and give her her blanket maybe she will just relax.
Hubby takes her for a walk while we wait for our food to come... I can hear her crying thru the restaurant.
Remind me to never eat chicken fajitas as fast as I did that night...

SO I guess what I am trying to say is that madie is getting a little mind of her own.. sloooooooowwwwly but it will come. This just comes with Madie and well she cant tell me that her tummy hurts with too much poopy in there or that she doesnt want to be at Chillis..
She had a tough week as well...and when she finally pooped it was like night and day! She suddenly had a great day at preschool and was a delight the rest of the day at home! Even slept well! Poor Baby and her Bowels! I partially blame ourselves for buying the non-fiber shakes which was all they had at the grocery store at the time..
Physically she is still chugging. She feels stronger in her legs and arms and is so cute when she holds onto mama when I carry her or she feels my fuzz bathrobe while I am carrying her.. trying really hard to use her hands..reaching alot more and pulling hair(ouch) and toys from her noisy box which she loves! Loves bathtime putting her hands out for me to pour water over cute!
Does great job bearing weight in her legs.. still cant hold herself up! she will put her hands on the bar of her noisy box but doesnt know to really hold on and weight bear...
She does get on all fours as well but doesnt know how to crawl...she gets all over her blanket with falls and rolls and sits back up and falls over and moves closer to the wood floors..LOL

Madie has great Teachers working with her at school...I was really excited to get her into school not only for the break for me in the mornings but for her to get some good stimulation from other kids and surroundings. Cant really ask her if she likes it and can only go by the reports I get back..,some great some ok..
Madie is a very much "on her terms" kinda gal.Always has been.
I hope I haev updated enough here.. its been tough getting my thoughts together without interruptions...
No news with the rest of betta fish died and I just bought a new Kitty is being a pest and Hubby is ALWAYS A PEST...LOL Just kidding.
Oh all my Kids. Gotta Love them.

1 comment:

Miles said...

Don't sell yourself short Mama. Our Madie was brought into our world because someone up there knew she needed a great and loving Mom... which is exactly what you've become :)