Its been a month since my last Blog....
Let me just get my thoughts together.
I miss family ALOT. I miss the beach. I miss family dinners..they are the best! I miss laughing and shopping and seeing everyone on a spur of the moment..I miss game nights and BBQs... I am not included. And that is how life is. ALone. Downright depressing. Its a sad feeling. I still have a wonderful family and we all love each other so much but we barely see each other.
I sign into my blog and see the picture of my sweet girl...how I would do anything for her..how I wish things were different in so many ways.. But oh this kid..she keeps me going.
There are a lot of great things going on and I have so many reasons to be so very full of Joy..I still find myself quite depressed...I will stray from the depressing and tell the world (all 2 readers..lol) that Madie and I are going on a Make a Wish trip... we applied and we GOT IT> Off to Atlantis Bahamas in the next few months to see all we can see!! EVERYTHING IS COVERED. Gotta get the ol passports done and we BOOK it! I still don't believe that its real. How deserving am I of al this? WOW. and WOW. I don't feel like its real. NEVER in my lifetime did I EVER think I would ever go on a trip to the white sand beaches and gorgeous resorts...EVER again. I cant afford groceries let alone a vacation to paradise..
I don't know when we will go and I don't know who I will bring with me. How many people have told me that Miles should go with us I cant count...He would make the best helper for sure. :( But that's the scoop. I am obsessively making lists of what to bring...over and over..and gawking at the pamphlets and maps...
In Madie news..well its been over a month with her tube and she is doing just fine! We go to the GI guy on the 15th next month so she can get the button instead of this long tube hanging out.. my guess is that is going to hurt.
Next week we will go to Candlewood lake to relax and see my cousin and her lil one for a couple days..I really love that place. The house is lake front and has a nice deck to hang out on. Cant swim in the lake yet though with madies tube doh. lol but we will sure sit on the shore and the grassy yard. :) Have a lil dinner with my cousin and catch up.
Also going to meet with the wheelchair folks to get madie a new ride...!! I am so tired of the cruiser loosing screws and getting bent and just overall not being sturdy. BUt we are saying she has outgrown it to get a new one. THAT Is the story! lol.
Also a nuero follow up which is pretty routine....have her weighed etc..
I dunno...Hm...In no order..
In lil over a month Madie will be NINE. Yes NINE. Its her last year of elementary school and I don't want to think about it cause Ill ball my eyes out! I have thought about re locating after elm school is done...I guess to a more accessible place...a place where heat is included and there is no more drafty windows and OIL to beg for oil assistance every winter... A place with no stairs to carry madie... She is a lil sack of taters! lol Maybe a lil more than a sack of taters! lol But yeah. I also really love my town and the folks in it~ So is tough but Id also relocate for a lot of reasons...
SO in conclusion I try to keep my chin up and take one day at a time.
I hope everyone is well... I will blog soon...more going on but eh.. loosing motivation.
Me.
2 comments:
I am SO happy for you and Madie!! This will definitely be the vacation of a lifetime! I'm so sorry you are struggling with depression. It's so not fair that you were thrown into this part of your life. You did nothing wrong. So taking your ex on the trip with you, unless you are getting back together, I think it's an awful idea. Just my two cents. This should be a relaxing trip. You don't want that drama on your mind the whole time! Just saying...:/
Believe me, you have more than 2 followers lol. My name is Sandy Owen and I am a retiree of Cook Children's Medical Center in Fort Texas and I have been following you for the longest time (years). I have never posted but just wanted you to know you and Maddie are in my prayers every night. Being old, 67, One thing life has taught me which is VERY hard to do but I am trying "Let Go and Let God". I don't always suceed but I know it is a good thing to try. :-)
sandy
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