Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Today my Hubster and I will hopefully embark on trying to find each other again..to mend the past... I have always been a huge advocate of therapy...My personal experiences with therapy have been positive. I can get sound advice and not be judged for asking lame questions.....I can rant and rave and swear and she wont run away..lol..She will just listen. and when I talk about things I feel better. Im a chatter. Albeit it costs me 30 bucks co-pay each time I go..but who cares. I do know that we cannot move on together by doing all this on our own..I am Scared. I wont deny it. I hope he is in this for the right reasons and wants to TRY more than one session when we are done.. I hope the therapist gives us homework for each other..I hope she can shed some light on how to fix what is broke. :( I am tired of hoping I just want to make it happen! As you can tell I am REAL good with baby steps...always 5 steps ahead and getting anxious. I really shouldn't be! Its Just Miles! Sigh. This past week in my eyes has been good. We have tried to talk each night and or text each other we love each other...It feels good. I miss him terribly but I know that this space is good. I spent the weekend at the beach house with my in-laws and relaxed and slept in till 9..read my book and went shopping and wrote in my journal. It was peace. Miles hung back with madie at the house where she is most comfy and spent some daddy madie time. :) Just keep hugs and good thoughts for my little family. There is a book in the religious section at the book store called The Love Dare. Random acts of love more or less that you do for your husband or wife..there was a kinda hokey but GREAT movie called Fireproof with none other than Kirk Camreon..(lol I know I know...)But the book was in that movie.. in a nutshell..they found each other in the end and realized why they fell in love and it was tear jerker for sure!! I bet the local library has it up for borrowing...:) AND didja know that the woman he kisses at end is his real wife! he never kissed the actress who played his wife in the movie...xo SO I got this book and I will try to do random acts of love each day...even if its just asking how his day is... Maybe he will too. xo hangin on. Me.