Thursday, February 2, 2012

All for the best eh?

What a day yesterday!
First and Foremost I LOVE madies school..they always say they want the best for my madie and they have gone above and beyond to help get madie allllot of things to help her!
Yesterday Juuust as I was comming to pick her up after a nice morning having thai food with my mother in law and poking thru antique stores and consignment shops..
Madie went into a Giant Seizure.
Now all my seizure Peeps (yo) KNOW that big seizures SUCK! Well it was to me her typical scary seizure..stiffened. Eyes rolling. mouth wide open. jerking. stiff. gurgles...spitty...hands clawed.. Scary Shit! But I have seen it before.
Typically I let her ride it out. I hold her little self and talk to her and rub her back and her hair..let her breathing calm down and lay with her for a few minutes till she falls asleep and or comes out of the spaced out state that the seizure puts her in. AT NO point have we ever had to use Ativan to stop her seizure. I mean I know of kids who have seizures that last hours! and scare the crap out of everyone and hospital literally has to sedate the kiddo!
Madies typically from start to finish maybe about 5 minutes..after the intital terrible part passes she is usually pretty out of it..and slowly falls asleep..not very responsive.
Well yesterday at school...she was in her big bad seizure right in the hallway of the school...her teachers surrounded us. The Nurse came running out of her room. The Nurse says she is foaming at the mouth and to call 911...The Nurse is almost yelling that Madie is "foaming at the mouth" and looking at me frantically saying "that could mean NO BREATHING"...
Within say oh 3 minutes the abulence is there..and two cops.. Jesus Henry Christ....is this happening???? (yes I think Jesus' middle name should be Henry..)

I try to explain that they just dont understand that this is what happends...she is spitty...of course her drool is going to be all over...she gurgles when she seizes..her body is is CRAZINESS!
I tried to tell them that I have dealt with this for FIVE YEARS! That maybe they need to read up on seizures and watch some videos or something...I was getting really defensive. Feeling like if I did not accept the ambulance ride that I was going to be scoffed at big time.
Then the Police Guy came to me and told me to calm down...oh lord..johnny law is going to take me in now?? Calmly explaining that everyone wants what is best for my child and that everyone is just concerned with her "spaced out state" that she could seize again.. AGAIN I try to explain that she usually does not seize more than once at a time.....she spaces out after for what seems like forever and slowly drifts to sleep! What do you expect a person to be like after a seizure? They say it feels like you have run a marathon and your body is spent..just imagine her little 33 pound self?! But I did not yell...I just cried and loaded up madies adaptive stroller in my trunk as the EMT guys loaded madie into the ambulance.
Fuck.
45 minutes to get to Hospital...by then madie was drifting in and out of sleep...wining between being bugged with monitors..stickys wrapped on her sucky thumb.. and bumps in the road..I wanted to scoop her up and run home..make her warm bottle and let her snuggle with mama..:(!!

I could not have loved my Husband more that he ran from work to meet me there...whew. He kinda took over holding her and talking to the nurses..while I was just spent from the whole ordeal. He was Awesome Man. XO

The Nurse was awesome as well!..she pretty much sided with us..but also saying there were 2 people in front of us and it could be a couple hours till madie is seen...We told her that these seizures happen and school wanted us to come to ER.. She said the FIRST thing that actually gave me a sigh of releif..."Some people just don't understand that this is our life...that we (mom and dad) know that our child will be Ok and we know her best"
I knew she was overtired yesterday..I just knew that all the noise and being pushed in the classroom and over stimulation...was taking its toll on my girl. To try to explain that overexertion can bring on a seizure was hopeless..to try to explain that her lack of sleep and over tiredness can bring on her seizures was again hopeless..
To explain what makes her grumpy is super hard..Somedays she will be happy only being carried or in her highchair... some days I cannot make my girl happy! Shes CODDLED OKAY! I SPOIL HER ROTTEN! OKAY! sigh....Some days...MOST days..she is relatively happy!
To try to explain how sometimes my girl just needs a quiet minute to breathe and be comfy was hopeless...
I know know know that school is SO good for her! She needs the exposure the exploration..the learning! But Miss Madie is not your typical kiddo! The school KNOWS that!
This all comming after the teacher tells me she has been grumpy at school and maybe something is wrong that she must be crying cause she doesnt feel good...
Do I have to explain over stimulation AGAIN?? Ya get me right seizure peeps? (yo)

Do you think I know what makes her tick each day?? Hell NO! It trial and error! STILL! But I know my girl better than anyone ever will...DO I know when she will have that nxt big bad seizure? Hell no! I know that her deal is usually sleepy. hungry. bored and just wants mucho attention one on one... overtired. or sick.(which is rare!) I do know that she only had one seizure last month! so hot dang!
It was a Long....day...madie zonked out early..mom and dad zonked out early...it was a day.
SOOooo if any of you have had to ride in an Ambulance with your seizure kiddo after a big bad seizure against your will..and or feel like everyone is judging you if you DONT go...you get it. And that's all I have to say about that.
Thank you Forest Gump.
Today...A new day. Maybe Ill just keep her home so we can play and nap all day..:) maybe go to Old Navy or the Bookstore and poke around..maybe sit in "Big Bucks" and have a coffee.
Oh My sweet Girl..
Me.
PS Stander will be here in about a mo and half! maybe sooner! Awesomeness!

1 comment:

Zoey's Mom, Heather said...

Holy freaking crap Jamie. I am SO sorry. Sorry for you and truly sorry for Madie. I hate that you guys had to go through all that.

Keeping you all close in thought and prayers and hoping you got to hang out and snuggle after that heartbreaking, draining and frightening experience.

What a girl you have there and you, keeping you positivity and humor ... we have to hang on to that, don't we??