Friday, December 2, 2011

guardian angels by my side..

I am by no means a religious person..I really did not grow up going to church. Sometimes I dont know if I even believe in God..But I do know that I have guardian angels. I lost people in my life that meant so much to me..beginning with my parents when I was just 16 and 17..then my very best friend since I was 5 when I was 22..from Cancer. And then later in life I lost my grandfather and then after I was married I lost my Uncle. both to cancer. My Uncle was an awesome guy. My Dads brother...he was a florist for many years...did my wedding flowers for me. Pretty simple order of my bouquet, bridesmaids and corsages... all for FREE. a gift to me that I will treasure always.. I miss him making me laugh. He was so much like my father! My Grandfather I remember having an acorn hanging in his garage and when he pulled in the acorn would hit the windshield and he knew he was in far enough. He and my grandma were married for 5o years... he actually taught her how to drive very late in life..being married in the 1950s was all about the wife who cooked and cleaned and took care of the children...never mind having independence like DRIVING! I had not seen him for a few years after my fathers funeral the family was not so much getting along...a long story that I will not go into.. But I eventually reached out to the family and when I saw my grandfather again he was very Ill...but we had one last Christmas party before he passed... When he passed my Grandma re-married and sadly THAT guy died too Allllso from Cancer! Not My parents though...they were different deals... My Grandma is such glue in our family at 82 years old she is still taking trips to Atlantic City with her sister my Aunt Ruthie...LOL She has not remarried but jokes that when she goes to A.City that she is husband hunting.. We will all gather together in a couple weeks for our Voegler Christmas party and exchange gifts and laugh and eat and drink and be merry.. its so fun!! We play games and win our presents basically...and we only buy presents for the little ones..who cant play the games..:) Its Awesome.
But all that aside....I suppose I do believe in guardian angels....when I feel really down I pick one to talk too..or cry to..Mostly my parents and my friend....whom I miss everyday. The 3 people in my life who truly understood me.
Things have been pretty stressed at home. No lie. Madison has been just fine....her usual lil self such a sweet little soul she is...somedays she hates preschool and others she gets great reports of giggles and noises and wide eyes.. I have been working like crazy person to get Madie approved for grants and special programs that can get her standers, walkers, a home helper.. stuff like that for HOME! Weather thru the school or thru the state or thru the hospital..Im pretty stoked about it! Kinda keeps me going these days....all the hope and love I have for my Madie...and how hell or high waters I am going to get her these things! We will also go to Hartford hopefully come January to get Madie evaluated for some equipment to speed the process.
Pretty soon we are also going to go chop our fresh tree for christmas and get the holidays kicked off..We also travel to Jersey to see my side of the family as well. In meantime hubster and I are slowly getting to know each other again...holding on to love with all my might! I am thinking of attempting to surprise him by getting tickets to see a beatles tribute band...although he will find out about it if he reads this blog soon! I guess just my way of making things happen! Pushin his hiney to get out with me! lol
love to all the mamas and our sweet little ones. The lights of our lives...with a side of hubsters. Say extra good prayers or send good thoughts or karma or whatever you preach over to sweet Reagan and her mama...that they both find relief in time for the holidays :) I will also give some shout outs to my Angels. ;)

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