Where do I begin..............
Well its been a week for sure.
I think about getting back into the work force...really I do..To care for Madie and the house and the living things and the uh uh uh uh talk about mental breakdown. all for some money. just to have. f-ing sucks to be blunt. Work was for me at one point just to get out and meet people fudge my way thru a day a target and have some money in my pocket...Turned out to be more stressful that FUN...
I am a good mom to all my kids and tell me otherwise and you are not someone I want to know...this includes my cat! she is living and dependant on me..she was going to die! and well if it meant NOT spending(unexpected) 800 bucks on her than that would have been the choice to just let her go....I (beyond husbands wishes) spent ALOT of money to save my cat...she is fine. she will live. Doctor wants to continue more anti-biotic but I feel its not nessesary she is back to her pesky self..(so I have not picked them up)we are just out of the last batch...after 10 days.. Is it really necessary for MORE??....I have huge guilt for even saving her...Hubby has made it very clear that I am not to spend anymore on the cat.(that is a conversation best left in hell)
Madie had a tough day at school today she was not about to go to PT or cooperate for that matter she was up at 6am which is early for her the past few days. going to bed at nearly 10 last night was rough too...
even when I am away and I try to sleep in and forget about being a mom for a DAY I still am unable to relax and take a load off and just enjoy..feeling like I just need to be close by Madie. wearing myself thin..(not literally) but mentally.
Maybe I am just feeling sad about that..I just hate to hear about tough days and seizures and crying and not liking her therapies...
I love the days when its nice outside and I can go sit outside on the deck and read a book or lay in the sun and have a cold ice tea or glass of wine and close my eyes and block out all the noises except for the birds and the frogs.
I would love to take a camping trip sooner than later... just get away..cook food and make a fire..great stuff. *sigh* not asking for an Island getaway here! (although Ill take one) Its something I am looking forward to this summer we had so much fun last year....and I want to make a tradition out of it.
To say that I long for some Hubby and Me time is the biggest understatement of my life right now...*sigh. Some Year.....
OH OH and while I am daydreaming...
Chiropractor Dad at Madies school came to me and said that he would love to see madie and give her an adjustment he claims that this type of thing has worked miracles...yeah maybe for my stiff neck...but for SEIZURES??? has anyone heard of such a thing??
He gave me his card and said whenever I am ready to call him.
Baby Girl is passed out next to me on her blanket after a doozy of a seizure...how can I not call??...just out of pure desperation??? ugh. got mixed opinions on it.
Now I know he is meaning well...and I tell him that he just doesn't know what its like to have a child with hard to control seizures where the doctors have failed with numerous medications and seeing your child unable to run and play with her peers...I was ready to cry! and I hate when I get that way! Also telling him of all the tests we have had that come back normal...
Then he goes into asking me if I think Vacinations caused Madie to be the way she is...OMG...how can I go into that conversation??? I tell him that I get Madie her vacinations because she needs them and that is that. all kids get them and well its a touchy subject..not saying I like them but just saying that I go with them. grin and bear it all in the name of Madie not getting sick...tricky stuff right there..Madiie is current on her shots...if she was not she would not be able to attend school as well..sigh...
There can be pretty heated debates on Vaccinations and I suppose its the parents choice..we delayed a few due to when she was on ACTH but other than that...eh...
Soooooo I guess in a nutshell those are my thoughts right now. I always feel a weight off my back when I spit out a new blog...err fart one out. Just dang satisfying.without the bad smell. ;)
1 comment:
Oh I can so relate on the animal front. I am an animal person. My pets have always been part of the family. My husband is exactly the opposite. While he "tolerates" animals, he certainly doesn't think an excess of money should be spent on them. His favorite thing to say is that you don't take a dog/cat to a vet because they're sick...you shoot em! Horrible!!! I think I have heard people try some sort of adjustments for seizures...I say what the heck...try it! Why not, if it's free! Vaccinations are a sticky subject. I have a Ph.D. in Immunology so logically I would say kids need to get vaccinated. BUT having a kid with neurological problems and knowing that vaccines can aggravate seizures in certain kids, we have avoided them.
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