Just hangin in there

Okay here goes.. first blog on the IPad. have to compete with Madie for this bad boy she loves it! And quite frankly so do I. Lol
Well here we go with the holidays approaching and anxiety and depression kinda runs high this time of year for me but... I will not be alone. Booked for holiday invites and dinners. No Jersey Christmas this year sadly..we said goodbye to my beloved Grammy.. 92 years young after her battle with throat cancer and crazy treatments she just couldn’t do it. I heard of the news Dec 2nd and it took me a couple hours to process it then I just broke down... I love her so very much and we were pretty close. I hope that My family decides to gather soon she wouldn’t want us all being sad and apart..Quite honestly best woman ever.   I was unable to go to her service that day I was crying so hard and just mentally couldn’t do it and wanted to remember her the way I wanted to... not at some creepy church themed thing..

My anxiety has been pretty crippling lately... just too much on my mind I really don’t know if I want to talk about much of it and with Holidays in the mix I just want to have some happy care free times and not deal with the overdue cell bill or the 200 dollar power bill that just wiped me out.. I did however save 100 bucks a month by switching to Geico. Lol starting next month anyhoo...
When I am with Madie I am chill... when I have my kiddo and even my silly cat nearby I am chill. My little family per say... My therapist suggested I make a psychiatrist appointment ohhhhhgreat can hardly wait for the panic attack over that shit... maybe they can help who knows... I’m not getting doped up on pills. Trying to deal with a certain nameless person wanting to get engaged is another one I am not wrapping my finger around well either.  Most tell me they don’t have high hopes for it but ya never know!! More anxiety triggers... My one friend says she feels it in her psychic abilities lol... ohhhh K.

Anyhow Madie is good she’s on break till after New Years now! I almost never make it to watch the ball drop zzzz used to do New Years back in the days but eh.. Just being with Madie is fine.
I am going back and forth with Christmas Eve plans if I just want to be with Madie or take my invite for dinner with friends...
We have been at wits end with the bus company that picks her up for school trying to get the van to come up the driveway which is pretty dangerous for me to wheel her down I might add! They say the large van is too heavy and if it goes into one of the potholes it could hit the side wall or even TIP..
I suggested that they use the smaller van which is very much more car like but haven’t gotten anywhere yet. I even talked to my neighbor who called the company with concern and got told the same.. He was outside using his own ice melt saying everyone in his family has wiped out on the ice so far.. I told him I break into a sweat wheeling Madie lol  And for the record Ups,Oil,moving trucks, fed X, and even a CRANE has been up the driveway..
 😂🤪
It would be a miracle if that drive was ever paved. I would probably be pee myself!! Lol

Anyhoo...aside from a ton of laundry that I don’t feel like putting away and more dishes to be loaded into the dish washer it’s just a lazy Sunday... Madie will be home later on and let the holiday break begin. Its been offensively cold outside I hurt my elbows breaking ice off my car... yeah genius method I know...Lol Way to go dummy!
Oh saw a couple really good movies! Want to recommend Green Book and Bohemian Rapsody, and there is a racy series on HBO called Mrs Fletcher... omg lol yeah it’s .. well for the ladies! And Righteous Gemstones.... lol omg not for kids!

Guess that’s enough of my rambles... Have a Happy (Anxiety Free )Holiday kids!
Sorry slacking on my cards probably get a Happy New Year card at this rate.

Peace out homeslice.

Me