Monday, September 22, 2008

The beginning of time2

Its hard to remember these times..hard to belive that that was madie in my tum tum! We had no other pictures of my pregnancy and we had juuust come home from a small resturant down the street and over dinner we talked about how we were going to take a pic of my belly when we got back to the apt..We had just moved into the 2 bedroom place October 06...I think this pic was on Thursday October 18th...My water broke errr Saturday at 1am and madie was born at 1:08 pm!
Such a time of nervous excitement, scrambling...err wobbling arround trying to get everything perfect putting strollers and carseats together, doing laundry, folding all her tiney clothes and buying diapers and opening of course allll my baby shower presents and washing the blankees and bibs... Oh man.! seems so long ago but really only a couple of years ago! Maybe these times are hard to remember simply becasue they were so worry free...a GOOD kind of worry rushed thru me..."how can I take on being a mama?" "Am I going to be a good mama?" "Gosh I hope the baby isnt funny looking"" I cant wait to see her be a silly little girl I can take shopping to be my personal shopper "no mama its yucky"
I laugh remebering how well I was doing with my weight and then juuuust when I was getting into the next smallest size...40 pounds come...AHhhh!! All Bay-bee!
ANyhhooo I guess I have remisnised enough..Madie came down with a yucky cold a couple of days ago...just woke up yucky...Friday I came home from work and she was reeeealy warm...her little feet were just hot..she looked pale and was winey...I tourtured her with a bath and some grape tylenol and she was OUT...had to jossle her to get her meds down as well...
I was kinda freaking out cause I remember when she was on Topamax how her body would get real warm at times when the drug was kicking in...and I wondered if it was from the increased Zonegrean that she was running a fever...but I looked at her nose and her you could hear her stuffiness... and well I kinda ruled it out. Stilll....its alot of drug...
150mgs now... yesterday I will blame her cold for her sleeping all day but the next few days I may blame the drug if it continues...Gosh, you never know...
Although as I type I have a tricky roller on my hands...still sounding stuffy but so far she is happy today..
I am pushing hard for the Clonopin to be I figure with one drug down what would she be like on 2 drugs down?? with juuust ONE! at least we would know what was working...why do they do that to our kids...put them on more than one drug and dope their little bodies up like this?? Why does this happen to our kids at all? And why is it so much harder than any other seizures to controll?? My father had epilepsy which they CLAIM is not genetic and he lived a normal life...on meds all his life but more of less seizure free (hints producing yours truely) man oh man.
DespiteMadisons sickness I saw no seizure untill the verrrry end of the night when she was fast asleep in my arms in bed and I went to put her in her bed and she began to feel funny AS I was putting her down...seizure 1... doh.
Zonked out to the Emmy Awards last night and woke at the rise and shine time of 615...
Here I am. :)

No comments: